hmmmmm....

          Gw baru sadar apa yang pernah gw tulis di sini, di blog bener-bener bullshit..sampaaaaaah..taiii banget..gk segampang kata2 nyeet.. gw kuat? taiii.. gw punya semangat??? tadinyaaa,,smua bakal berlalu???ya ya yaaa.. Ketika gw menarik nafas yang dalam dan merasakan sesak di dada, di saat itu pula gw sadar, i'm not okay.. Ketika air mata itu mengalir dengan sendirinya saat gw berdoa, di saat itu pula gw sadar gw uda gak sanggup, gw sangat sangaaat butuh di kuatkan. Gw benci ketika pikiran gw mulai bertingkah dengan berbagai macam hal-hal negatif dan yaaak si perasaan bodoh itu menyambutnya, meladeninnya..damn..yah gw sadar, gw terlalu main hati..errrrrr...

            Behind my smile is a hurting heart..behind my laugh, i'm falling apart. If u look closely at me, u will see.. the girl i am.. isn't me.. but how does not one single person notice that i'm not okay??? No matter how much i care.. somepeople just don't care back.. Sometimes people just don't understand..or maybe i'm expect too much?? yeah maybe i just expect too much n wat i get?? yeesss.. disappointed n hurt inside.. i don't know wat i want in my life, wat i want right now.. i'm just dont feel like i know myself very well right now, so how can i be sure about anything? i'm lost...Sometimes i wish i could back to kid again, just be a little kid, so when life gets tough like a shit i can just play, pretend nothing happens, n everytime i were sad or i had a bad day i just run to my mommy n everything would be okay. No pain, no hurt..just laughter..everyone lives happily ever after..
*capeeek nulis inggris beginiii..butuh brpa lama buat nulis separagraf!grraoow.. + frustasiong

"Behind my smile is everything you'll never understand."

"I know God wouldn't give me anything I can't handle, I just wish he didn't trust me so much."